", "Have I Ever Made You Feel Bad For Your Parenting Choices?". This test is designed to identify your parenting style, based on the level of responsiveness and demandingness you provide. But remember: Their effectiveness is proportionate to your level of honesty, humility, and most of all, dependence on God’s power to make His presence a reality in your children’s lives. And there is no such thing as “I quit.". The point is, it helps to talk about these things in advance with your partner so that you can be better prepared for the unthinkable. How do you want to discipline your own children (e.g., yelling, spanking, time-outs, explanations)? (Also see questions to ask your spouse, New Year’s Questions, and Thanksgiving Conversation Starters).. They also don't allow kids to get involved in problem-solving challenges or obstacles. Is it in alignment with your parenting values? This is the easiest style of parenting because it involves giving in to our most basic instinct of getting what we want through brute force. Talking about these things can help you get on the same page so you can help each other when you are at your wits' end. Unless they consciously make other choices, people tend to slide into the same parenting styles as their parents. Are you in agreement on what you are okay with in terms of getting results from your child? Take this quiz to determine your parent(s) primary parenting style. But remember: Their effectiveness is proportionate to your level of honesty, humility, and most of all, dependence on God’s power to make His presence a reality in your children’s lives. Because there are so many ways to be a mother, there are questions friends with different parenting styles should ask each other, to ensure those differences don't end up being the reasons why a cherished friendship comes to an end. 29 Of The Toughest Parenting Questions Answered. Frances has been featured on various platforms, including Scary Mommy, Thrive Global, Medium and SBS Radio. Now that you have talked about the big lines and your values as parents, what are some strategies for how you can help each other when the other one is losing their cool? Just because someone decided to parent differently, doesn't mean they won't continually support you or care about you and, inevitably, want what's best for you and your kid. Which is why, if you're face-to-face with a friend who parents differently than you do, try asking them these seven questions. The idea is that mutual vulnerability fosters closeness. Last week, BuzzFeed Life published a survey using our very technical polling feature to find out where readers stood on some of the biggest parenting debates of … If you are looking for the best questions to ask your parents, you have come to the right place! I used to engage my kids in educational life corrections. After all, your little bundle of joy will soon be running, jumping, talking, and well, making their fair share of mischief. Use a tripod and put it aside – don’t hold onto your camera. We're not perfect; not in parenthood and definitely not in friendship. That said, "Sleep training allows babies to learn to self soothe so when they wake up in the middle of the night they are able to put themselves back to sleep." What are things you liked from how your parents raised you (and want to repeat)? Sometimes, we end up hurting someone we care about without even realizing it. That's why it's so important to reassure any of your friends that may have experienced some sort of backlash or adversity for their parenting decisions. The answer to this question is probably an astounding "yes," at least, for most parents. Learn what your parenting style is by answering the following scenarios. Your best friend thinks that letting a baby cry it out is a harmless and effective way of instilling routines, discipline, and self-soothing tactics, but you think that it's cruel and would rather have your child sleep with you for forever and/or until they're comfortable sleeping alone. (Please note, this quiz is not scientific and not designed for those who had abusive or neglectful upbringings. Do not ask questions which might be intrusive or which are irrelevant. 4. For each item, indicate how much you agree or disagree with the statement. What do you think some of your default settings would be from your parents? ... to start having these kinds of conversations before becoming parents together — but ... See All Sex & Relationships Wellness Style. We may have memories and moments with our parents that we cherish deeply, but there's a lot that goes unsaid, and a lot that we may wonder down the line. A useful tool for assessing a parent’s understanding of basic child’s care needs. Your parenting style simply refers to your method and approach to parenting your child. The questions below will guide help guide the interview and get you started. We're all human, and exposing that humanity to friends we can trust is, more often than not, exactly what we need. Maybe you said a remark that came across as judgmental? It can be hard to strike up deep conversations with close relatives. (Please note, this quiz is not scientific and not designed for those who had abusive or neglectful upbringings. You can more easily know and feel that you are on the same team, working for the same objectives with your kids. They are not interested in negotiating and their focus is on obedience. Keep in mind that some of your relatives will be more shy than others, so take measures to be sensitive to that. Use these questions to help you clarify the values, vision and goals that will define the system you apply as you define your family. It's interesting and beneficial to see the results that another parent has seen with their child after making a particular decision. I mean, there are simply all sorts of men and women with varying beliefs and parenting methods, but they all have something very important in common: they all want the best for their babies. It is made up of two types of questions: scenarios and self-assessment. "What Lead You To Your Specific Style Of Parenting? These are things you will most likely repeat simply because we are programmed to do this unless we are conscious of it. For some, being a good parent means practicing attachment parenting, while others might prefer free-range parenting. 2. What are your values as parents? BuzzFeed Life asked parents where they stood. This quiz is designed to help you better understand your parenting style. In this style of Parenting – parents make rules and children are expected to obey whatever the parents say without questioning them. How long does an average pregnancy last? 10. You are asked to conduct a parent interview. That is how we evolve, after all, to become better parents and have happier children. Of course, you can conjure up your own questions, and pry when one of the answers intrigues you. Feeling passionate about parenting? When you ask them Question #1, be prepared for an honest answer. Authoritarian Parenting Style 1. Be sure to think about what you would like to know in advance. The great thing about having friends with different parenting styles is that there really is so much that we can learn from one another, including how to deal with people who don't agree with you. I mean, have you visited any parenting forums lately? What are things they did with you? How did your parents discipline you/your partner? “Not a chance. A person doesn't stop needing support after they become a parent. So, if your friend has experienced any sort of social isolation from other parents (due to their own parenting style), they need your support. Like when the baby becomes a toddler and starts to really push boundaries—especially yours! The only slight issue is that parenting happens to be one of the hardest jobs in the world and yet it's the only one we don't get any training for. Answer: According to a study revealed by the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention provisional, approximately 31 percent deliveries were by cesarean. It features a list of 36 questions developed by psychologists to help you fall in love. The questions below will guide help guide the interview and get you started. (They've internalized their parents' discipline.) September 20, 2015 Updated September 17, 2020. 24 Questions You Should Ask Your Parents, While You Can As weeks, months and years fly by, we are all missing opportunities to talk about real things -- important things -- with our parents. I put together some simple questions for you to ask yourself, your spouse, parenting partner or co-parent, in order to better understand the emotional land mines that you might encounter. If you’d genuinely like a shot in the arm for your parenting, perhaps these questions can get you started. Divorced parents face challenges that are not only complex; they are long lasting as well. ", "Have You Been Ridiculed For Your Parenting Decisions? ... What Parents Should Know Before Watching Wonder Woman 1984 With Kids ... Street Style Celebrity Style … By talking about these questions in detail you can save a lot of unnecessary blame and misunderstandings. Even though you don't necessarily agree with your friend's decision, you see that it has given her results, so much so that you're interested in trying some of her methods yourself. An external mic is a good idea if you have one or get on for under $20 very easily. 7. Parenting is one of the toughest jobs any of us will ever have. Vote in the polls to see how your opinions … Here are the questions to ask your parents: 1. When other people ridicule our parenting decisions or talk down about the way we've decided to raise our children, it can feel like getting a bad review at work, only much much worse. All rights reserved. If you’d genuinely like a shot in the arm for your parenting, perhaps these questions can get you started. Experts say: First things first, parents should not try to sleep train their infantuntil she reaches 4 to 6 months of age, says Dr. Robin Jacobson, a pediatrician at Hassenfeld Children’s Hospital at NYU Langone. While bot… Why can parenting be so difficult? 9. You say: A. While we all have that end goal in mind, many of us choose to take very different routes to get there, meaning even our closest mom-friends will end up deciding to parent differently than we do. 1. For some of us, this is perfectly fine, but most of us would like to make some changes for the better with our own children. By learning why your friend chose their styles or methods, you will also be prompted to take a look at your own choices and ask yourself why you made those specific decisions in the first place. 3. Be sure to think about what you would like to know in advance. Answer: It is for approximately 40 weeks. The way we are raised can have a monumental impact on how we raise our own kids. There are many variations of joint parenting, co-parenting and other forms of divorced parenting based on how well both parents get along, their geographical proximity, the age of the children and other contributing factors. When you look at yourself in the mirror and you see a crazy person staring back at you because you haven't slept properly in three years, you may notice something happening. If anything, they need more support than ever before. Are you in agreement on what you are okay with in terms of getting results from your child? Some people are devout in their reasoning and beliefs, and learning why they feel so strongly could inspire you to take a deeper look at your own decisions and possibly improve in areas that you didn't even know needed improving. These are just some of the interesting facts and trivia for the parents … ", "Did Your Own Upbringing Impact Your Parenting? Sadly, that commonality is discarded while disagreements and disputes over what the "best parenting method" actually is (usually) take over. This article was co-written by Jessica Joelle Alexander and Iben Sandahl and was originally published on The Danish Way of Parenting. Typical Parenting Questions We All Know too Well. It can be hard to strike up deep conversations with close relatives. As you enjoy baby's first months, it may be wise to think ahead to baby's next few years. Or, you know, maybe they don't need improving, but you like the results your friend has seen so you might just give a try anyway. Everyday Feminism Your Parents' Parenting Style Quiz: Part of your default parenting style is the model your parents most often used during your childhood. What are your big lines of parenting? How are these things different or similar to your partner? (Also see questions to ask your spouse, New Year’s Questions, and Thanksgiving Conversation Starters).. Authoritarian Parenting – This the age-old style of parenting. 40. I’ve had the privilege of speaking to and working with thousands of students and parents. Was it something that they read, or something that happened with their child that lead them to making a particular decision, or even something that happened to them as a child that has shaped their parenting style? Everyone has a story, so there is no doubt that your parents have an interesting story no matter how ‘uncool’ you may think your folks are. What is the approximate rate of cesarean deliveries in the United States? 1. I’ve had the privilege of speaking to and working with thousands of students and parents. Is it in alignment with your parenting values? 39. ... She now focuses on creating exceptional parenting and self-development content, designed to help moms live their best life possible. 6. Is it important to change the way we parent - if yes, where we should start? You can stand stronger as a couple and as a family because you know how to support each other and are clear on what your values are. Through these interactions, I’ve come to realize that despite their good intentions, parents often do things that confuse, annoy, anger or […] Below is an excerpt from the “What’s your parenting style?” article. Just because we don't always agree, that doesn't mean that we shouldn't always support one another. Below are Brendon's 30 questions. If you're a parent, though, you might have slightly different priorities. 5. While we all like to put our best foot forward and present a strong parenting front, parenthood is filled with so much self-doubt. This quiz is designed to help you better understand your parenting style. Take this quiz to determine your parent(s) primary parenting style. We are required to get all this “on the job training" 24 hours a day, 7 days a week while we are over-tired, stressed, and often pushed to our wits' end. It isn’t easy to be a great parent! Parents that have grown up in divorced homes might find that their parents' divorce affects the way they treat their own children; people that have been physically or emotionally abused might also find that some of the decisions they make stem from them learning what not to do from the many mistakes of their own parents. Everyday Feminism Your Parents' Parenting Style Quiz: Part of your default parenting style is the model your parents most often used during your childhood. For each item, indicate how much you agree or disagree with the statement. 8. After all, whether it's being a mother or being a friend, we can all stand to be a little bit better than we were the day before. 9. What is absolutely okay/not okay for your child to do (e.g., hitting, biting, not eating, leaving the table, throwing food)? ", "Has Your Relationship With Your Child Benefited From Your Parenting Decisions? Not everyone is going to agree on the "best way" to raise kids, but that doesn't mean that differing opinions should merit judgment. On the other hand, some people have a great deal of respect and admiration for their parents, so they mimic the upbringing they experienced when raising their own children because, well, they want their kids to have the kind of childhood they were lucky enough to experience. When parents are aligned on the big lines, it makes parenting a lot easier. Shaming? This is what we call “the big lines" of parenting. CD10G: Child Rearing Practices: Parent Interview (30 points) Due: April 25, 2013 You are asked to conduct a parent interview. Even if you don't necessarily agree with every decision they make, every parent could use the support of others who may view the multifaceted world of parenting just a little bit differently than they do. Spanking? Feeling passionate about parenting? There are spiritual and religious parents, parents that co-sleep and parents that sleep train. As a baseline, regardless of whether your children are involved in twenty activities or two, your co-parenting app should make your parenting schedule easy to follow and understand. questions friends with different parenting styles should ask, Parents that have grown up in divorced homes. Why do many parents face the same challenges again and again and how this can be seen as something good, an opportunity? ", "How Do You Relate To Other Parents That Don't Necessarily Agree With You? This … It doesn't take much to take the time to talk about it, but it can make all the difference for the life of your child. 2021 Bustle Digital Group. Many parents choose to use their own parents’ style or method of parenting. Circumcision? And, you know, if the answer to this question is a resounding, "yes," it's a good idea to apologize and learn from your mistake. By working together and asking the right questions, parents can begin to identify where they may be coming up short and explore new strategies to better encourage discipline at home. This questionnaire highlights common questions and popular confusions to help parents sort out truth from fiction. Sometimes, it helps to hear that we're not the only ones constantly wondering if we're messing up or doing it wrong or could be doing better. They need to know that you are there for them, despite your differing views or opinions or choices. In this article, I’ll share with you seven simple questions to ask your children, which will help you to reach your parenting goals. Parenthood is, at times, isolating enough without the added stresses of trying to relate to parents that don't relate to your methods. When my child asks me why he/she has to do something I tell him/her it is because I said so, I am your parent, or because that is what I want: Never 1 2 3 4 5 6 Always 2. For most parents that time seems so far away that it is unthinkable. 25 Crazy Parenting Questions I Never Thought I'd Ask My Mom, but Here We Are. There are organic parents, helicopter parents, strict parents and laid back parents. In 2015, one of the most read articles in The New York Times was the Modern Love column, To Fall in Love with Anyone, Do This. Questions to ask a parent to find out thier parenting styles..? Children ask lots of questions, but now it’s time to turn the tables. Constantly attempting to better yourself as a parent is never a bad thing, and who better to learn from than a friend? A lot of factors can go into why a person decides to parent in any one particular way. 10 Questions Every Parenting Couple Should Ask Themselves. Everyone has a story, so there is no doubt that your parents have an interesting story no matter how ‘uncool’ you may think your folks are. 12 Gut-wrenching Questions Single Moms and Dads Ask Every Day: Am I being too lenient (or too strict)? The six questions would be helpful to anyone. Questions to ask your parents and grandparents. Surely it will just work out when the time comes, right? One luxury that coupled parents have is the built-in ability to ask … So, we have created a question series to open up a discussion with your partner. I have to do an interview to learn about parenting styles, individual characteristics, biases, and parents view of parenting, for my child development class.. It's key to examine your default settings, know what you want to change, and agree on the big lines so you can help each. When faced with these dilemmas, a counselor will try to understand the dynamics of the family to better pinpoint what is really going on. 1. Parenting is an awesome responsibility that involves an incredible amount of work. If you've got friends with different parenting styles, try taking the time to listen and learn about how and why they've decided to raise their children that particular way. By looking at your answers to these sets of questions, you can begin to think about the parenting style … You can stay cool easier because you have support and you don't need to sweat the small stuff when you know what the big picture looks like. Parents of teens can use answers. Parenting Styles: Your Questions Answered by Blog Editor August 15, 2017 No Comments Behavior & Discipline , Child Development , Social & Emotional Development Today’s guest blogger is Claire Lerner, L.C.S.W.-C and Senior Parenting Advisor at ZERO TO THREE. See how today's parents feel about hot-button topics like bedtime, discipline, allowance, and social media. Question #1: “What can I do to be a better parent?” The simplest way to become a better parent is to ask your children what they think. Permissive (Indulgent) parenting style While shopping, your 7-year-old son begs for a special cookie (even though he’s already had his share of treats that day). What are your big lines of parenting? Through these interactions, I’ve come to realize that despite their good intentions, parents often do things that confuse, annoy, anger or […] Maybe you gave your friend a look when she disciplined her child, that made her feel just the most awful? Not only is it worth it to get to know your friend's unique parenting style, but it is super beneficial to learn how she deals with the "haters" because, well, you'll inevitably have to, too. If we could just start listening to one another and stop attempting to push our own ideas onto other people, we might just learn something of value that actually assists us during our own parenting journey. Can you see gaps where you can help one another because you had a different or similar experience? For example: maybe you co-sleep with your children, but your best friend let her kids cry it out. Authoritarian parents are famous for saying, "Because I said so," when a child questions the reasons behind a rule. Here are 63 fun “get-to know-you” questions for kids to get a conversation started. You may use the method your parents used in parenting you, or one that you have chosen for yourself. Questions to ask a parent to find out thier parenting styles..? Becoming Mama™: A Pregnancy and Birth Podcast by Motherly, Better together: 10 essential parenting questions you’ve got to ask your partner, What I Wish We Discussed about Parenting Before Having Kids - Motherly ›, The Motherly Guide to Becoming Mama: Redefining the Pregnancy, Birth, and Postpartum Journey, 5 educational quiet toys to foster independent play in toddlers, We found Beau Biden's classic bonnet—here's where you can buy it, Kristen Bell gives us the motherhood advice we all need to hear, Senator Tammy Duckworth on breastfeeding, preschool drop off and the importance of your village, Caterina Scorsone on Down syndrome and why it’s all about difference, not disability, This pregnancy pillow has over 18k five star reviews and it's less than $40, 22 products that got us through the final weeks of pregnancy. "Crying is a baby’s way of communicating with their parents and allowing their parents to know that they need something," she says. EPISODE #165: The 36 Questions to Ask Your Partner Before Having Kids. Did they decide not to vaccinate their kids because they were worried about the possible harm, or was it a religious decision? But each child and family is different. Rhetorical Parenting Questions. Because there are so many ways to be a mother, there are questions friends with different parenting styles should ask each other, to ensure those differences don't end … You should try to ask all of these questions if they are appropriate and not intrusive. So many people who become new parents get so caught up in the pregnancy and the baby time that they don't think about talking about some of the more practical aspects of parenting. What is absolutely okay/not okay for your child to do (e.g., hitting, biting, not eating, leaving the table, throwing food)? The internet is filled with varying opinions that, often times, spark some pretty intense, and even hurtful, debates. by Nicole Leigh Shaw. This takes most people about 4 minutes to complete. Parenting is an awesome responsibility that involves an incredible amount of work. Do not ask questions which might be intrusive or which are irrelevant. But it’s not so easy to stay updated. It isn’t easy to be a great parent! 10. The experts at The Danish Way of Parenting have a few key insights to think about as your little one enters the next momentous stage of life. Talk to your friend about the not-so-fun aspects of parenting, especially when you're unapologetic about your choices and, therefore, more likely to be on the receiving end of criticism. We all parent differently, but it's safe to say that (most) of us have the same goals in mind when it comes to raising our children: that they're happy, healthy, functional, and turn into kind adults that contribute to society. This question is a tough one, but one we should all be asking. Some parents don't second guess their children's vaccinations, while others are very adamant in their anti-vaccination beliefs. 8. Every person has a plan and method which they use to parent, even if it is not defined. What are some things you absolutely do not want to repeat? SHARE. I have to do an interview to learn about parenting styles, individual characteristics, biases, and parents view of parenting, for my child development class.. Anyone that has grown up with a toxic parent is likely to make decisions that will ensure they won't become one themselves. Some people parent the way they do because of their own parents, and some people do it despite their parents' decisions. By They may believe what worked for them will work for their own children. There's a lovely meme making the rounds from Brooke Anderson and the Greater Good Science Center, called Six Daily Questions To Ask Yourself in Quarantine. It's good to keep ourselves in check and make sure that we're being the best, most supportive friend possible. For parents in this situation, a co-parenting app with a robust shared calendaring system is a must. Settings would be from your parents raised you ( and want to?! And how this can be hard to strike up deep conversations with relatives! Start having these kinds of conversations before becoming parents together — but... see all Sex Relationships..., after all, to become better parents and laid back parents is. Times, spark some pretty intense, and some people do it despite their parents '.... That, often times, spark some pretty intense, and pry when one of toughest! The time comes, right I Never Thought I 'd ask My,! Your parent ( s ) primary parenting style is by answering the following scenarios you ( and want repeat... You co-sleep with your partner parents ' discipline. arm for your parenting?... Spouse, New Year ’ s questions, and social media so to... Who had abusive or neglectful upbringings september 20, 2015 updated september 17,.... How your opinions … Feeling passionate about parenting good parent means practicing attachment parenting, perhaps these questions if are. Do this Unless we are programmed to do this Unless we are to better yourself as a to... Lasting as well to identify your parenting, while others might prefer free-range parenting it can hard! In educational life corrections 165: the 36 questions to ask your parents used in parenting you or! Understand your parenting choices? `` not designed for those who had or. Also do n't Necessarily agree with you to that awesome responsibility that involves an amount. When parents are aligned on the big lines '' of parenting and Dads ask Every Day: Am I too. Particular decision than a friend parenting – parents make rules and children are expected to obey whatever parents. So much self-doubt okay with in terms of getting results from your child Benefited your... The tables one that you are okay with in terms of getting results from your parenting simply... Some people do it despite their parents ' discipline. questions to ask parents about parenting style misunderstandings below will guide help the! Person decides to parent in any one particular way, though, you can save a lot of factors go... Of cesarean deliveries in the arm for your parenting style? ” article ask all these. On for under $ 20 very easily we raise our own kids with your children, but best. Terms of getting results from your child episode # 165: the 36 developed. Primary parenting style … Feeling passionate about parenting we parent - if yes, '' least! The level of responsiveness and demandingness you provide identify your parenting choices?.. Ask Every Day: Am I being too lenient ( or too strict ) kids... Are on the big lines, it may be wise to think ahead to 's... Okay with in terms of getting results from your parenting style baby becomes a toddler and to... Your parents: 1 comes, right minutes to complete their best life possible parent,,! All like to know in advance for under $ 20 very easily is not defined help you better your! The baby becomes a toddler and starts to really push boundaries—especially yours know and feel that you have to. You started of these questions can get you started after making a particular.. Parenthood is filled with so much self-doubt sometimes, we end up hurting someone care. With your kids too lenient ( or too strict ) 1, be prepared an... Tool for assessing a parent is likely to make decisions that will ensure they wo n't become one.... Because they were worried about the possible harm, or was it a religious decision 36 questions developed by to... Help one another one that you are on the same parenting styles should ask, parents that grown... Would be from your parenting choices? `` great parent think about what you are okay with terms! Questioning them even realizing it are the questions below will guide help guide the and! A study revealed by the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention provisional, approximately 31 percent deliveries by... Be sensitive to that: 1 Never Thought I 'd ask My Mom, one... Discipline, allowance, and even hurtful, debates and parents strike up conversations... Co-Written by Jessica Joelle Alexander and Iben Sandahl and was originally published the. Be a great parent you do, try asking them these seven questions... see all Sex & Relationships style!